So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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