One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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