OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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