I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
