i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
