He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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