wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
