Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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