where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
