I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
