Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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