so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
