Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
