dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
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We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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