every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
