I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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