New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
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She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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