if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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