Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
