did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm too high and old for this...
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
