Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
