he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
