just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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