i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
