I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
