I think I am morally bankrupt
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Randomize
