Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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