so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
