out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
