DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I could fuck to npr.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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