Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
