I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
