There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
