Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
This is the prime rib incident all over again
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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