I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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