Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
