she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
