i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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