tell your sister to shave her snatch
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
