I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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