it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
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