4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize