I just pynch a tree in the face
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
