Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
i now understand why vodka
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
