God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize