Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
