ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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