Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
where are you?
Hypothermia
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
