i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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