is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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