Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Randomize
