Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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