He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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