sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize