Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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