Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
