I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
