He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
