she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Green mimosas i think yes
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
