so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
