I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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