When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
