I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Randomize
