Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
