you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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