Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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