ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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